Strip searches, suspected drug mules and a whole lot of jetlag.

Sunday 12th August 2012 - 9.55pm

I arrived at Bowling Green State University, Ohio, little under a day ago but have been away from the comfort of my own bed for approximately 45 hours. Looking back on the last 2 days alone, it is cumbersome to think I have just elected to make such a colossal change.
First things first, departure. As many of you know penultimately to my exodus was my 19th birthday, meaning at 10.15pm I was still sat a Hogs' Head with a Jaegerbomb in hand having put little thought into packing, let alone effort. Consequently, I did not sleep until the plane journey and had to face a multitude of hurdles before I was presented the privilege of slumber. Hurdle number one - hysterical mother at the gates. This woman is made of stone, she holds a certain animosity to public displays of emotion so her lamenting at my egress was not only alien but slightly emotional. Head held high and upper lip stiffened, I majestically strode on jerking back the odd tear. Hurdle one - overcome.
Hurdle number two - security. Having successfully navigated customs and fooled them into thinking I'm here to further my education rather than frivolously waste my money of Walmart trivia, I thought I was doing pretty well. I thought too soon. Walking through the domineering white arches with armed policemen present and a series of gossiping Brits is daunting at the best of times, but when your common sense absconds you and you find yourself in a studded bra being led by a security guard into a small room labelled 'Private' and suddenly the gossiping Brits are concerned with you. It is an awful lot more daunting. Turns out a studded undergarment is the work of Satan and I required a strip search to identify that the brassier in question was the offending instrument on my person and not a machete. Once thoroughly violated in places only child rape victims should point out on dolls, I was allowed to pass through the security of Terminal 3 into Departures. Hurdle two - overcome.
They say bad things come in threes and this is no exception, third and final hurdle presents itself once again in the form of a studded bra - a drug search. Similarly to Mancunian custom, security found fault with my underwear. I took solace in the fact I was only frisk searched as oppose to visually violated however became alarmed and slightly offended when the woman who had just conducted the search wiped her hands with a swab like instrument and entered it into a machine that retorted 'No Substances Detected'. These three words confirmed for me that hurdle three had been overcome.
Aside from these minor blips travel was pretty smooth sailing between Perton and down-town Bowling Green. Once in possession of a room key, I was keen to get connected to the internet and check my Facebook, like any self-respecting 21st century teenager, and follow my notifications up with some much needed sleep. No such luck. On entry, I find a sleeping Asian girl curled up in one of the two beds in room 924. Nervous, I flee upstairs to a friends dorm to check if she, too, has a room-mate. With my suspicions confirmed, I return to my room and placed myself quietly on the floor - seated on my bags - as the other bed was occupied with all of her things. Being the meek soul that I am, I didn't want to disturb her but alas, she eventually woke up - shat herself at the realisation there was another being in the room - and moved her belongings so I could sleep.

New dawn, new day. Very little of interest happened today, it would seem. A fellow exchange and I ventured into the town and around campus to occupy ourselves. As ashamed of myself as I am to admit it, I did once indulge in a few episodes of 'Sorority Row' (for those who have a life/taste in television, this is a reality TV show about Sororities coming to Britian to select only the most athletic, charitable, classy individuals - no luck for me there then) which triggered my ashamed excitement when we discovered this.

Yes, I took a photograph with a sign for Sorority Row and yes, I would do it again. Judge me all you please. Our travels also brought us to Vagina Rock. For any of you that are wondering why it has been so elegantly christened Vagina Rock, I'll put your mind at rest. The beautifully sculpted masterpiece to your left is indeed, Vagina Rock. I digress, so once we had explored our new surroundings and formulated prevening plans to visit Walmart for supplies, we returned to our rooms. 6 hours later, that is again where I find myself but this time with a laundry basket, some stationary and some fruit.
Now the internet is fully informed in regards to every move I have made in the last 2 days I think it is time to sign off and get started on my first paper.